Steel Panther – All You Can Eat


Artist

Album

All You Can Eat

Label

Open E / Kobalt

Year

2014

Genre

For Fans Of

The Darkness - Stan Bush

Summary

Throw on Bukkake Tears and relax.

Rating

95 / 100

When the song titles are ‘She’s On The Rag’, ‘Gloryhole’, and ‘Fucking My Heart In The Ass’, you know you are checking out a Steel Panther record. The new one, and group’s fourth, ‘All You Can Eat,‘ which features the band recreating the last supper on the cover, is full of rock and metal greatness to the point where you will wish we were back in the 80’s. Like, you would deal with happy pants to be back in the time when this music ruled the airwaves.

Remember when The Darkness came out and everyone was like "this is hilarious," and then eventually realised that they were an amazing band not just a gimmick? Well it’s happening again with Steel Panther. Sure there is a track called ‘Gangbang At The Old Folks Home’, but musically these guys write rock songs to party to, with some pretty amazing guitar work and melodies that will have you singing along on the first spin.

Musically, this album is made for parties, classic 80’s metal and rock, with tracks like ‘Party Like Tomorrow Is The End Of the World’ that would sit perfectly at the end of the Transformers Animated Movie, the quintessential 80’s film and soundtrack in our eyes (The Touch by Stand Bush anybody?).

Bodacious riffs aside, the lyrics will draw you in and hold you tight until the party is over, we refer you to these soon-to-be-classic lines from ‘Gloryhole‘:

"There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance,
There’s a hole in the wall where you put your cock and balls,
But you never really know who’s sucking on the other side,
Is it a boy or girl or lady man hermaphrodite,
Only I don’t want to know, who’s sucking my dick today
I’m going to the glory hole, gonna spend my weekly pay"

There is of course the love song power ballad, necessary for every great 80’s rock record, ‘You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Talk’, full of phase guitars and solos, and based around a beautiful young lady who apparently becomes a tool when she opens her mouth.

The record closes on the stomping rock number ‘She’s On The Rag’, which will teach you more about the female special time of the month than sex education in school ever could.

Conclusion

If you throw a party and this record is not your soundtrack, your party will probably suck.

Tracklisting

1. Pussywhipped
2. Party Like Tomorrow is the End of the World
3. Gloryhole
4. Bukkake Tears
5. Gangbang at the Old Folks Home
6. Ten Strikes You’re Out
7. The Burden of Being Wonderful
8. Fucking My Heart in the Ass
9. B.V.S.
10. You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Talk
11. If I Was the King
12. She’s on the Rag

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