For Fans Of
I found myself strapping into a rainbow-painted rollercoaster; my surrounds coloured by kaleidoscope wallpaper, sitting before a slope-ridden track twisting and twirling for miles ahead. "Look Alive, Sunshine" the first track told me as the seatbelt clicked, holding my back firm against the cushioned seat. ‘What the fuck have My Chemical Romance conjured this time around?’ echoed throughout my puzzled brain. Needless to say, I was about to embark on an 80s-flavoured LSD disco ride down a post-apocalyptic path straying far from any of their past three full-length releases. For fans of their history , lock yourself in tight to your carriage before jamming MCR’s latest, ‘Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys’ because these fifteen, winding tracks will surely spin your stomach silly.
First stop – Japanese game-show land. “Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)” is the title and the rules are simple: strap on your best fluro headband and bang your head crazy. Second stop – outer space. Synths and electronic star-shimmering noises set us in an inter-galactic trance somehow reminiscing Gerard Way’s “Bulletproof Heart”. Get comfortable because “Planetary” plants us back in a tin-foiled rocket ready to blast off to another galaxy of teeny bopping, disco jiving alien specimens who want nothing more than to dance (as opposed to cringe) to Gerard’s vocal attempts at seduction and sexy. Comprehending so far? Good, neither am I. Not one bit. Throw away the fast punk riffs and sorrow-drowned melodies that were the blossom of My Chemical Romance’s distinct (previous) sound, because this album is nothing but a lost heap of confusion.
Cherish those precious editions of Total Guitar featuring guitar tabs and riffing sessions with My Chemical Romance because the only magazine these hipsters will find themselves in is ‘80’s Dance-hall Disaster’. “The Only Hope for Me Is You” gives you an idea of the mess this band has created, chunky synth bass lines and atmospheric electronic waves enough to churn the jelly at the bottom of any disappointed fans’ belly. For the most part, these songs are repeated choruses. “Party Poison”, more up-beat than its predecessors, proves that some of these choruses can actually have a catchy ring to them. If only it wasn’t painful to have repeated in your brain. At just under an hour of playtime, I couldn’t scream harder at the stereo to spin faster. Whilst admittedly not a concept album, the occasional unfunny interjection of narration from Dr Death pulls us along this hazardous road of hysteria, confusion and nonsense. The only stories these boys are telling are the hallucinations of a junkie trapped in a mucked up time machine.
They say that with age comes great maturity. I’m not really sure what happened along the path of My Chemical Romance, but somewhere along the track the bike ran off course and veered into a cauldron of mass bewilderment and chaos. Maybe it was the hair dye, maybe it was the strangling jeans, or maybe they just rid their teenage apathy, but for the once emo-punk icons, ‘Danger Days: …’ has redefined their status as masters of the weird and ugly. You’ve been warned.
1. "Look Alive, Sunshine"
2. "Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)" Bryar, Iero, Toro, G. Way, M. Way
3. "Bulletproof Heart" Bryar, Iero, Toro, G. Way, M. Way
5. "Planetary (GO!)"
6. "The Only Hope for Me Is You" Bryar, Iero, Toro, G. Way, M. Way
7. "Jet-Star and the Kobra Kid/Traffic Report"
8. "Party Poison" Bryar, Iero, Toro, G. Way, M. Way
9. "Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back" Bryar, Iero, Toro, G. Way, M. Way
13. "The Kids from Yesterday"
14. "Goodnite, Dr. Death"
15. "Vampire Money"