Album Review: Brokencyde - 'Im Not A Fan, But The Kids Like It'

When I was ten years old my old man tried to show me how to kill a chicken, but completely fucked it up and just clipped the side of its neck with the axe so it flapped around pissing blood everywhere, making this mental gurgling screaming sound which until last week was the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I say this because last week I received in the mail ‘I’m Not A Fan..But The Kids Like It’ by Brokencyde, and it’s the worst shit you could ever fucking imagine. 

They’re calling themselves “Crunkcore” but they don’t seem to have a fucking clue about hardcore or rap, they sound more like they were sucking each other off at a party one night and Enter Shikari came on and they figured they could start a band, or something, I don’t know, but it’s fucked. The music sounds like it was done entirely on a Fisher Price keyboard and the dual vocals are completely woeful, mixing super pissweak screeches with exaggerated pop singing which I guess is supposed to sound ironic but it just comes across incredibly self conscious and deliberate. 

I’m hesitant to go too bezerk ragging them out here because apart from it not being worth my time they seem to really lap up any attention they can get, good or bad, and I’m not keen on giving them the satisfaction despite the fact that they’re what’s wrong with the world. It’s not just me though, outspoken haters include Geoff Rickly, Buddy Nielson and Steve Albini, so I’m not as washed up as you think. 

Cue the comments regarding how wrong I am and how this is a shit review and all that, I’m sorry if I upset you because I said the boys with the tattoos weren’t any good, but I just hated it so much. It gets one point because it made me laugh, but only out of frustration.

If you like anything about this band I will actually fight you.

   1. "Intro" – 0:40

   2. "Freaxx" – 3:36

   3. "Skeet Skeet" – 3:57

   4. "Late Night Call (Skit)" – 0:44

   5. "Booty Call (feat. E-40)" – 3:24

   6. "Get Crunk!" – 4:23

   7. "Yellow Bus" – 3:22

   8. "Get Up (feat. Daddy X)" – 3:48

   9. "Jealousy" – 3:33

  10. "Poppin'" – 3:20

  11. "40 Oz." – 4:29

  12. "Sex Toys" – 2:58

  13. "Rockstar" – 4:06

  14. "Schitzo" – 4:08

  15. "Scene Girls" – 3:43

  16. "Tipsy" – 4:57

  17. "I'm Sorry" – 7:45