Album Review: Brokencyde - 'BC13 EP'

My mother always taught me to bite my tongue if I didn’t have anything nice to say. Well, FUCK THAT! A release this awful deserves to be publicly ridiculed… after all, that’s what the Internet is for. 

Imagine (if you dare) a collection of middle-class brats, all of whom are fascinated by Rise Records endorsed metalcore, MTV’s “Top Ten Club Count Down” and horrendous, teen-angst poetry that even the most tortured thirteen year old would laugh at. Yep, Brokencyde are THAT bad. 

I don’t care if these clowns are taking the piss, because this shit is not funny. If I wanted to listen to a vocalist who’s infatuated with a vocoder I’ll throw on the new T-Pain record thank you very much, and as for the incessant screaming throughout the EP’s five tracks, fuck off and join a band that’s remotely heavy already!  

If you’re stoked on V-Neck shirts and shitty haircuts then you’ll probably love this record, however the rest of us can take solace in the fact that our ears don’t have to be subjected to this garbage on a regular basis. 

I’ll leave you with a quote from British critic Warren Ellis, who described the band’s video for the track “Freaxxx” as: “a near-perfect snapshot of everything that's shit about this point in the culture”. 

1. Freaxxx
2. Sex Toyz
3. Schitzo
4. A Hofasho
5. Bree Bree