Album Review: Alesana - 'Where Myth Fades To Legend'

So here it is; My first review for

KYS. What a shame that I have to start off on such a terrible, terrible

foot. I must admit, I have heard the name Alesana a fair few times,

but I have never actually heard any of their material before. Lucky

me. 

From the moment ‘This Is Usually

The Part Where People Scream’ kicks in, you know you’re in for

a pretty bumpy ride. With awful tone, the cheesy “fake-metal” riffing

instantly gives you that “Oh no…What have I just purchased?” feeling,

and things don’t get much better from there. Once the vocals come

in, it gets a lot worse, with woeful screams and pitchy melodic singing

that even Auto-Tune couldn’t fix. 

‘Goodbye, Goodnight, For Good’ starts off with a little vocal “hook” (term used loosely), and then

gets rolling with some up-tempo beats, and a barrage of shit-sounding

screams. As if one bad singer in a band like Alesana isn’t enough,

these guys have 4. That’s right, 4 guys all competing for worst vocalist

of the year award; and they’re all in the same band. Lucky they redeemed

themselves by throwing in a breakdown right? Wrong. I would have thought

screamo bands would have wised up to the fact that they’re never going

to be as heavy as Misery Signals, so they may as well not try. 

Moving on, and what is apparently the

band’s most (in)famous track ‘Seduction’, lets in with some whiney and irritating vocals, and some more-of-the-same

guitar riffs. By now (track 3), it’s clear that all of the structures

are going to be pretty formulated, as most of Alesana’s fans probably

wouldn’t realise that they’re listening to pretty much the same

track, just with different words thrown in. This track features on the

latest Vans Warped Tour compilation, and if this is the best track they

have to offer, then pickings look pretty slim. 

At times, the band seem to suffer musical

schizophrenia, namely in tracks such as ‘The Uninvited Thirteenth’ and ‘And They Call This Tragedy’. The latter swings from your standard screamo ballad to a failed attempt

at a black metal song, complete with bree-vocals and a half-time breakdown,

only to end on a drawn out line that sounds like it was directly ripped

from Thursday’s Full Collapse. 

Bands like this are the reason that

so many actual decent and deserving bands don’t get their just desserts.

As long as idiot kids buy shit music like this, record labels are just

going to keep dishing it out. If you bought this record, you have every

right to return it, and let the store know that it is aurally defective.

1.

This Is Usually The Part Where People Scream

2.

Goodbye, Goodnight, For Good

3.

Seduction

4.

A Most Profound Quiet

5.

Red And Dying Evening

6.

Better Luck Next Time, Prince Charming

7.

The Uninvit