The Five Things Psychedelic Porn Crumpets Plan To Do At BIGSOUND 2018

With BIGSOUND fast approaching, Brisbane is gearing up take the the music world into a warm, boozy embrace. One of the acts making the pilgrimage this year is Psychedelic Porn Crumpets and we caught up with the band to find out the five things they plan to do at this year's summit.

1. Beers

The obvious prerequisite for any great show is the determined abuse of alcohol. I've abused many alcohols in my time and BIGSOUND will not be any different. Luckily our line of work is fuelled by fermented vegetables; musicians are basically lobbyists for pubs and I'm perfectly happy with that. Better us being in a venue where everyone knows we're safe than being off with those strange Byron kids.

2. Beers again

This time, as I watch a few bands. Mainly to get a good grasp of who's better than us, or to see if someone has in fact discovered the 'new sound'. It's going to be filled with greebos saying, "Great set, man," when they know they're lying, so I'll need to lubricate the gears and brush off the pessimism. With any luck, I'll end up dancing to Come On Eileen at 4am with some strangers.

3. Hungover self-reflection

The day after a big one is always an anxious time, the usual thoughts of, 'Who did I offend? Where's everyone else gone? Why's there a strange family staring at me?' These can be joyous occasions if your drugs are still working, but for those tough times, the best way to tackle these fragile states is to think about the present. Don't consider your future cause you'll make rash and ill calculated decisions and end up joining the army, or become one of those door-to-door salesmen trying to get people to sign up to WWF. 'Yes I like turtles, no I don't have $50 a week,' that's 5 pints mate.  

4. New Beginnings

Like every good framed quote with a sunset background, I too search for inspiration. I like that feeling after lunch when the days shaping up and you feel like you're glowing. These occurrences shouldn't be taken for granted, it means you're doing well my fellow avid reader. Shine and be shined upon they say. I'm looking forward to some neck hairs standing at one of these undiscovered gems gig.

5. Playing the greatest set the world has ever seen

I hope the BIGSOUND committee's hands hurt from clapping so fiercely. The crowd will keep screaming "encore, ENCOREEEE", even after we've just played for nine hours. I'll do a guitar solo so loud the fabric of space and time will split and Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon and John Bonham will all fall onto the stage and we will form this insane supergroup. Thom Yorke's there crying with joy, all the music labels say, 'Here's all the money we collectively own,' then Richard Kingsmill will throw me a mean shakka before I'm swallowed by the stage and VH1 do a legends documentary on PPC.

Psychedelic Porn Crumpets showcase on 4 and 6 September. Check out theGuide for all the details.

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