Read Deadmau5's Angry Letter To A Canadian Marine Park

Iconic Canadian producer deadmau5 has penned an impassioned letter to Canadian aquatic-animal theme park MarineLand, imploring them to release their animals.

Deadmau5, aka Joel Zimmerman, took to his Tumblr account this morning (AEST) to express his concerns about the welfare of MarineLand's animal inhabitants. The theme park, which is located in Niagara Falls, has been in the headlines up old Canada way of late as it faces its apparently annual end-of-season protests over its allegedly chequered record of animal welfare standards.

"You know what I would do if I were you?" deadmau5 began the post, titled Deer Marineland [sic]. "Just get rid of the animals… (not that kinda chainsaw and plastic tarp 'get rid of') but like, you know, find an amicable solution to getting rid of the animals so that PETA and all the Niagara Falls crusaders will get off your lawn with their fuckin signs n shit. I’m sure they wont give up anytime soon, because they don’t realize that signs and shit and 'awareness' doesn't really do fuck all… which is why you're still able to pen these animals up… whatever."

"But here's me just looking in at your shitty situation from my end," he continued. "Like I said, I’d just lose the fucking animals… and even if it pissed you off because you lost an asset or whatever, or potential profit from 'tourists' n shit… look at what you have to gain? You'd win the entire EVERYTHING if you released a statement promising the closure of your animal pens and aquariums."

Deadmau5 continues the expletive-laden missive by recommending that, with animals gone, Marineland undergo a conversion to a straight-up theme park ("WHO THE FUCK DOESNT GO TO THEMEPARKS DUMBASS?"), arguing that the company should, "from a moral and business standpoint ... stop being a fucking bunch of morons and just do the right thing".

"You'll make your return… receive worldwide attention for your acts of valour… even tho you needed to be pressured into it anyway, and my personal Facebook timeline wont be full of shit about how shitty you are," deadmau5 wrote. "That's it."

"Believe me, if I had the kind of money you’d want to buy your shit operation out, I’d do it myself in a heartbeat… and I'm probably not far off, so you might wanna hop on this shit."

Deadmau5 has gone on to seemingly-half-seriously publicise his plans to crowd-source the theme park on Twitter.

MarineLand has been plagued by protests and controversy for much of its decades-long existence. It has faced repeat scrutiny over the conditions in which its living attractions were kept, with a significant number (more than ten) of its captive orca having died while in the park's care since 1992.

Read deadmau5's full, unedited letter to MarineLand below.

Deer Marineland
you know what i would do if i were you? just get rid of the animals… (not that kinda chainsaw and plastic tarp “get rid of”) but like, you know, find an amicable solution to getting rid of the animals so that PETA and all the niagara falls crusaders will get off your lawn with their fuckin signs n shit. I’m sure they wont give up anytime soon, because they don’t realize that signs and shit and “awareness” doesnt really do fuck all… which is why youre still able to pen these animals up…. whatever.

Just speaking from a spectator point of view, if im driving by on my way to my own personal crusades, im not likely going to pull over, get mad and kick heads in. Ill just say “oh look, protestors” and carry about my business.

But heres me just looking in at your shitty situation from my end… like i said, i’d just lose the fucking animals… and even if it pissed you off because you lost an asset or whatever, or potential profit from “tourists” n shit… look at what you have to gain? Youd win the entire EVERYTHING if you released a statement promising the closure of your animal pens and aquariums. That “good guy” PR would reach worldwide fuckin acclaim…. shit, even SeaWrold (who arent any fucking better by a longshot) would be like… ‘OH SNAP’ and probably forcing them into action. You’d be a fuckin world hero… and it would probably cost you the x million dollars of investments you had to spring out on fucking whales n shit and upkeep (cant imagine it would be cheap)

but hey fucknut, heres what you do… just take a fucking hit, and do it. Because, stupid, youre STILL sitting on a fucking shitload of acreage thats a theme park…. with rides and shit. WHO THE FUCK DOESNT GO TO THEMEPARKS DUMBASS? Magic mountain doesnt have 1/2 dead wales n half dead deer… do i spend a buck or 300 every year to go there? FUCK YES.

Like i said, i dont know how much it costs to keep a huge fuckin fish in a huge fucking tank, but i kinda have a good idea how much a rollercoaster costs and im sure its pretty compareable….

if i had the kind of money you’d want to buy your shit operation out, i’d do it myself in a heartbeat… and im probably not far off

so from a moral and business standpoint, in my opinion, stop being a fucking bunch of morons and just do the right thing. what are you fucking broke? no. It’s a brilliant idea / long game and a hell of an investment…. but youll make youre return… receive worldwide attention for your acts of valor… even tho you needed to be pressured into it anyway, and my personal facebook timeline wont be full of shit about how shitty you are.

thats it.

believe me, if i had the kind of money you’d want to buy your shit operation out, i’d do it myself in a heartbeat… and im probably not far off, so you might wanna hop on this shit.

- Joel Zimmerman