The other week, my brother sent me this really amusing Medium piece about what your favourite 2019 album says about you as a person; it’s pretty funny. And similar to the framework of Anthony Fantano’s Ask Siri segment that I gave an Aussie twist, I looked at this article and thought: “hey, that’s pretty cool, but what if it was Australian?” And here we are, with something a bit different & goofy. So this is what your favourite Australian 2019 release (probably) says about you as a human being. Enjoy, and (maybe) learn something about yourself in the process.
Northlane – Alien:
You wear sars masks, enjoy the occasional rave, aren’t afraid of synths or industrial music, you’ll never give up your love for prog-metal, and you’re currently openly dealing with heavy, traumatic experiences that happened in your past and I’m proud of you for working through it.
Thy Art Is Murder – Human Target:
You like to comment on how the world is utterly fucked but you would rather just make apolitical statements about it all and take part in a wall-of-death or two instead.
Gravemind – Conduit:
Your favourite metal bands are Make Them Suffer, Fit For An Autopsy, and Thy Art Is Murder; you love games like Halo and Metal Gear Solid; you are Darcy Lock.
WAAX – Big Grief:
You unironically say things like “copping mad vibes” and use the phrase “deadly” instead of just saying ‘that’s great’ like a normal person would. You also really enjoy those earlier Bloc Party riffs, too.
Void Of Vision – Hyperdaze:
You genuinely think that Australian heavy music peaked in 2013 in Ringwood, Melbourne.
She Cries Wolf – Liar:
You fucking hate liars, whether they’re family or complete strangers. You aren’t shy of enjoying some double-kicks in your hardcore.
Above, Below – The Lotus Chapters:
All of your friends love djent and metalcore, but deep down, you just wanna listen to The Beatles and make some weird shit.
Press Club – Wasted Energy:
You just moved out of the suburbs after spending far too long in a shitty share house situation and have moved back in with your folks. You’re working at a casual job, are feeling unsure about life, are in-between relationships at the moment, have a shitty ex, and are just getting by as you take it day by day. And you know what? That’s okay.
Sleep Talk – Everything In Colour:
Despite fuck-all tours hitting Adelaide, you still think it’s a rad place. You don’t just listen to one style of music and you probably think that sunflowers are neat; “they are,” you tell yourself.
Surroundings – Glass Heart:
Your sole criteria for a metal song being good is the following self-answered questionnaire: “does it riff and does it djent?”
Diamond Construct – Diamond Construct:
Your favourite part of a metalcore show is when the vocalist screams “get the fuck up!” before the next breakdown or groove part hits.
Drown This City – Alpha//Survivor:
You think that metalcore peaked in 2012.
Cursed Earth – The Deathbed Sessions:
You’re thankful for having good friends around you when things get really tough. You’re always looking for a good excuse to bust out that HM-2 pedal that you bought back when bands like Nails were first coming up.
SETMEONFIRE – Lowtech:
You’re fascinated by current technology advancements and how it will all merge with people’s lives more so over time, you love a good Chimaira riff, and you also really like wrestling.
caution:thieves – The Blueprint for Moving Forward:
You think that alternative and post-hardcore music peaked between 2003-2009. Nothing and no one can convince you otherwise. Glassjaw are more than likely your most loved band.
Ocean Sleeper – Light In My Dark
You think that The Amity Affliction is the best band in the world.
Voyager – Colours in the Sun:
You liked the 80’s before it was cool to like that decade again. One of your favourite bands right now is probably Leprous.
Alpha Wolf – Fault:
You probably like Dealer.
Dealer – Soul Burn:
You probably like Alpha Wolf.
Yours Truly – Afterglow:
When someone asks you where you see yourself in five years, your response is: “haha yeah, pop-punk.”
Totally Unicorn – Sorry:
You’ve been in the hardcore scene for years, work a full-time job, are divorced, have lived through some terrible housing circumstances, absolutely love math-core, and you sure as shit aren’t afraid to be yourself. Keep going.
Eat Your Heart Out – Florescence:
You never once grew out of your emo and pop-punk phase as a teen, but that doesn’t bother you in the slightest.
Illyria – The Carpathian Summit:
You love writing and playing post-black-metal but can rarely admit it in most social situations without someone asking you if you know Deafheaven. You tell them you do know the band’s work and they respond with “yeah, they’re pretty extreme, hey?”
The Beautiful Monument – I’m the Reaper:
You’ve grown a lot as a person over the years and have a new sense of emotional maturity and understanding for yourself and others. You’ve also finally outgrown easy-core.
Disentomb – The Decaying Light:
You own at least two battle-jackets, love beer, smoke weed, frequently attend local metal shows, and your top 20 albums of the 2010’s are all death metal releases.
To The Grave – Global Warning:
You find that there’s nothing more musically relaxing in this world than guttural vocals, low tunings, and stupidly heavy breakdowns. You support the message of Greta Thunberg.
Windwaker – Empire:
Your friends keep telling you that addiction to memes and shitposting aren’t substitutes for a personality, but you don’t care.
I, Valiance – III:
You’re really bad at keeping promises and sticking to a schedule, but when you do, you bring the goods.
The Gloom In The Corner – Flesh & Bones:
You adore concept-core bands like Coheed & Cambria, My Chemical Romance, Defeater and love video games a little too much.
Thornhill – The Dark Pool:
Your Spotify 2019 stats consisted of dozen of hours of Karnivool, Polaris, and Northlane listening (with some Architects too).
Omahara – Upsilamba:
Your music taste really does scare people.