So Let's Talk About That As I Lay Dying "Discussion" Video

All right, let's just get right to it. 

Given the last article I made about As I Lay Dying, their return with the subpar 'My Own Grave' and their "classic" lineup, as well as the contention surrounding Tim Lambesis, it'd be remiss of me to not talk about the newest portion of this story. That being the band's half-hour "Discussion" video released last week on June 16th. In it, the remaining four members, along with Tim, recount how: his actions (cowardly plotting to have his ex-wife murdered in 2013) completely uprooted As I Lay Dying, stained their musical careers, their communication with him prior to this reunion, and how those past events negatively impacted their lives since. While also revealing that they largely shut off from each other emotionally while even being in Wovenwar together (bassist/singer Josh Gilbert) and eventually, in some cases, shutting off from music entirely (guitarist Phil Sgrosso).

In that previous article about AILD, I mentioned how I'd love to see the band release an in-depth video addressing everything on the table, showing the impact of what Tim did to those closet to him and how he's planning to make amends. Hopefully seeing them also tackle this return, their history, what the other members went through personally and professionally, and so forth. For the most part - again, for the most part - they do that here. While I'm not back on-board the AILD hype train, it's a heavy watch; an encouraging step for this band to take, putting themselves out there this much. Basically, Tim's said his part with that (oddly since) deleted 2017 apology Facebook post, now it's the rest of the band's turn to speak.

Straight up? Yes, this expose-type video is actually what I was looking for, but not to the full extent I'd hoped. As I feel that much more needs to come from AILD in the shape of similar video discussions to prove they're on the right path for the right reasons. Then, of course, comes how they handle new releases and new shows too. Which will be very interesting to see going forward.

And overall, there seems to have indeed been a shift from media and fan condemnation to that of understanding. However, that empathy seems to be mainly extended to the rest of the band, not necessarily towards Tim. I myself do sympathize solely with the other four members - guitarists Nick Hipa and Phil Sgrosso, bassist/clean vocalist Josh Gilbert, and drummer Jordan Mancino - as they weren't in the wrong here but have suffered equally as a result of Tim. However, my empathy doesn't breed complacency to blindly welcome Tim back either.

If you haven't watched this "Discussion" piece, please do so below.

Watched it? Good, let's continue.

Of course, this video is an emotional watch - absolutely. With the five-piece having a raw and honest round table discussion, starting from Tim and Josh, going over to Jordan, then to Phil  and finally, to Nick. Nick's section, in particular, is brutal, what with him choking up and becoming tearful about how much he hated Tim at the time and how much his life was ruined by the frontman's choices. Admitting that he could never move past it in Wovenwar because everyone wanted to know about Tim and what Nick's thoughts on the matter were. From press, fans, friends, and family - he couldn't find peace with it nor escape it. The guy really doesn't hold back his thoughts and on what Tim did, but also talks deeply about his relationship with Phil, how that was all skewed and how they were able to become friends again after Phil left Wovenwar in 2016. (By the way, at no point does anyone explicitly state what Tim did. Just a reminder, he tried to solicit the murder of his wife via a hit man. It should be clearly mentioned what he intended to have done to his former partner, not hushed up - thus giving it even more power - and should be addressed directly).

Similarly, by his own words, Phil interestingly mentions that Tim was actually manipulative long before 2013, with the guitarist talking about his distaste for being in the band coming well before the latter's arrest. Indicating that there were deeper internal issues running through the band way before shit hit the fan in 2013. While Phil doesn't give detailed specifics of these earlier issues with Tim, this calls into question Tim's character and if he's genuinely changed or not. In the band's eyes, however, he has to them changed.

Let's also be aware that nothing stated here would be new information to anyone in that room. They've already addressed these issues and had this conversation behind closed doors, now rehashing it for the world to see. That, in of itself, is commendable and couldn't have been easy to do. It's also quite clear that there is a fuck load of baggage here, and that there will be for a long time yet. The way that Phil and Nick, especially, talk about Tim indicates there's a lot of conflict still present but that they're trying to move past it and make it all work. That's their call, not mine or anyone else's to make, as they're the ones who supposedly want to be in a band with Tim once more. But it does speak to the nature of their return given that Wovenwar wasn't anywhere near as popular or as successful. Yeah, no shit these guys want to play music under the AILD banner, but little on that front is actually brought up in this video.

It's also been pretty sad to see the view disparity between 'My Own Grave' and this "Discussion" video, with the former having 1.8 million views and the latter barely scrapping 200K at the time of writing. It shows just how many people either aren't aware of this video, know of it and don't have the time for it, or more distressingly, know it exists but simply don't care. Which is fucking pathetic, honestly. If you're listening to AILD again because of 'My Own Grave', then you should absolutely watch this video.

With that in mind, I must admit it was good to see the band release this on their own channel and not sell the story off to a major publication or some third-party. If they'd done that, the response to this would've been far harsher I feel. It was also nice to know that the new single wasn't just promo for a new album, rather a one-off track written four or so months ago when they all got together to write. Tim also mentions at one point how he's fully aware that many people will never forgive him or give his band another chance, and that he completely understands that perspective. (At least he's not fully delusional of their situation, I guess). Look, there are silver-linings here, yes, and I'm not going to ignore them. But more could've been said, and more can and should be said moving forward.

And to be blunt, I really don't think that Tim (and perhaps the rest of AILD) thought there'd be as much backlash and criticism of their return as there was. Leading me to think this video was only filmed during the week of it's release, right before their first live show back in San Diego no less. Even though this video isn't properly about the vocalist (it should've been), with him perhaps expecting that their generic melodic metalcore comeback song would do all of the talking required (it didn't). As I've said before, it's all been horribly handled as this should've come out before any new music - not afterwards. I'm glad something was released, but it's all been backwards. So let's not start drinking the Cool-aid, yeah?

We were actually sent a DM to our Facebook page from someone saying, "here you go - The Justifications", linking to said discussion video. Now, I'm not sure if this person was being passive aggressive or merely informing us, but let me be clear: this video doesn't justify shit, as that's not the intended purpose. It's more about the "what" and the "who" of their return, yet never the "why".

This release is so AILD can publicly express what each member went through over the years and how they've come to now apparently reconcile with Tim. However, they weren't the ones he tried to have killed, and they all personally knew his ex-wife, Meggan, too. While it's fine they've moved on (or at least tried to), I'm still really waiting to hear from her and that side of the story in general. Which is where I'm at personally with this now. I sure as shit aren't jamming AILD in my spare time.

Hopefully, follow-up piece(s) like this video do come over time. Just so we see more of the band's growth, seeing where they're really at, understand more of what's happened since Tim's release, and what their true intentions are for the reunion. For as Tim mentions towards the end, AILD are just taking it one step at a time. And each new step taken needs to happen within the public eye.