Jonathan Vigil Offers Heartbreaking Statement On Not Being Able To Play Shows

"So how come they get to run around on stage when I won't ever be able to run again? I can't even walk on my own." - Jonathan Vigil.

Back in November 2015, The Ghost Inside was involved in a horrific tour bus crash with another truck while driving through El Paso, Texas, in which both the band's bus driver and the truck driver were killed, with the band suffering a whole host of dire injuries. It was a terrible reminder of what can happen out on the roads for touring bands working hard to financially stay afloat, and in this case, happened to one of the hardcore scene's most respected and hardest working acts.

Well over two years since an accident that rocked the heavy music world, The Ghost Inside are still yet to play a show but understandably so as the members continue to recover from the many different life-altering injuries from the harrowing incident. From that crash, vocalist Jonathan Vigil suffered a fractured back and neck, two broken ankles, ligament damage to his knee, a broken tooth and another wound on his back. (Vigil also battled a six-week setback back in 2016 after he was diagnosed with a bone infection, and in that same year, he also underwent further surgery on his ankle last month after the screw dislodged and came out of his skin.) Drummer Andrew Tkaczyk sadly lost one of his legs in the crash but has ever since been picking up drums again with help from his artificial limb, whereas guitarist Zach Johnson had to endure 26 hours of surgery just to repair damage to his feet, legs as well as his hip.

The long road to recovery for this band, for not only the member's physical health but also their mental health, has been a brutally long and definitely painful road back indeed.

As any fan of the much-loved hardcore band will tell you, Vigil has always been a blunt and honest guy (see any TGI song for reference) and the frontman recently took to his Instagram over the weekend to express his anguish over going out to shows now. Not because venues, their staff or their security aren't accommodating to disabled people - they are, as he says - but that this heartbreak and depression comes from him and The Ghost Inside not being able to perform live and the pain that now comes with watching other artists perform live knowing that could be them.

You can read his full post below - it's some pretty heavy stuff.

"Being completely honest and transparent, going to shows is HARD. And I don't mean hard in the physical sense because most venues, staff, security, patrons and show goers are very accommodating to handicapped or injured people. What I mean is it's just hard... being here. It's hard to know what we were and what we could be. I admit, I don't go to shows as often as I should. As often as I want to. As often as I need to. But there's a reason for it.

"It stings me. It hurts me. It's bittersweet being here. I feel cheated. I feel wronged. I feel obsolete. Seeing a band play and knowing we had it. Knowing what we had. I had it. Watching a band play with a feeling of jealousy that I shouldn't have but just can't shake. It eats at me. I think to myself, "I did everything I could. I was that kid in the crowd singing along, aspiring to be up there. I worked hard and I did it. I got there. Like everyone else up there did. So how come they get to run around on stage when I won't ever be able to run again? I can't even walk on my own."

"I've experienced loss before. Loss of innocence. Loss of youth. Loss of a loved one. But this loss is something I can't seem to do anything to cope with. It's a hole that won't close. It's like sitting around and watching a movie about your life, knowing how it's going to play out and screaming for it to be different but you're not the one with the mic anymore. No one can hear you.

"They'll be lots of extremely kind sentiments, comments, wishes and thoughts on here. They always hit me and the words do help. The support is there absolutely, but it doesn't end what I feel. That's the honesty and transparency of this all. It's like, would you go into something knowing the only outcome is heartbreak?"

Whenever or even if The Ghost Inside come back to playing shows touring, the heavy music world and their incredibly supportive fanbase will be waiting to welcome them back with wide, loving open arms. We sincerely wish Vigil and the band all the best. Big love.

"What happened to the blood pumping through your veins?/You’ve scattered the ashes of an iron faith./The sun fades below the horizon, and you say goodbye to what used to be".