Tim Lambesis Of As I Lay Dying Releases New Statement

18 December 2017 | 7:43 pm | Alex Sievers
Originally Appeared In

"Words cannot begin to express how deeply sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused." Well, he's got that part right.

"Words cannot begin to express how deeply sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused."

Well, he's got that part right, at least.


The once mighty As I Lay Dying entered an indefinite hiatus back in 2014 when frontman Tim Lambesis was arrested in 2013 and then convicted and sentenced to six years in prison in 2014 for trying to solicit an undercover police officer to murder his wife.

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Of course, the remaining band members went on to form Wovenwar with Oh, Sleeper vocalist Shane Blay with the band now being reformed with Lambesis, who was released on parole last December with the 37-year-old having now completed his full legal sentence. Lambesis is unsurprisingly the only member of the band left, with a new line-up supposed to be announced this year and with new music also rumoured to be on the way. (I do doubt anyone would want to work with the vocalist now (or ever for that matter) and deal with the headache of the ensuing publicity shit storm but I've been surprised and shocked before, so who really knows). Yet this new line-up for this new music was neither released nor announced and things have been pretty much silent on the band's social media accounts.

Until today, that is.

The only other posts to come from the As I Lay Dying official Facebook page before this was "Happy Father's Day!" (June 20th, 2016 - something similar was also posted back on June 22nd, 2015), the ominous one-word post of "Activity" (June 19th, 2017), as well as updating the accounts profile picture with the cover of 2011's 'Awakened' and sharing a link to the band's now expired website. Yet earlier today, that changed Lambesis addressed his past transgression and heinous actions by apologising to his friends, family members and fans he failed deeply three years ago in a lengthy public statement

You can read the full statement from Lambesis below:

"Words cannot begin to express how deeply sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused. There is no defense for what I did, and I look back on the person I became with as much disdain as many of you likely do.

First, I apologize to my former wife and remarkable children for my appalling actions. There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t wish I could undo the damage I caused, and out of respect for their wishes I will not discuss anything else about them (now or in the future). I also ask anyone reading this to promote healing for them by respecting their privacy and defending them from any negativity or anger which should be directed towards me. I was the sole offender and the only one to blame for everything that happened.

To my family, I apologize for the trauma you faced and may still feel. This is an ongoing sentence many of you serve because of me. I am so sorry to my friends who were betrayed by everything I hid from them and all the hardships I caused people who used to work with me. Band mates, road crew, managers, attorneys, agents, label people, and more all had to suffer through many unexpected changes because of my actions. While they were dealing with the aftermath of my arrest, I responded toward many of them with bitterness that I should have directed toward myself. I know that I can’t undo the animosity I brought their way, but I hope to mend what I can now as time goes on.

To the people who looked up to me as an artist, I let you down in so many ways. I tried to show my best side to the public, while feeding an ugly growing monster behind closed doors. I wrote lyrics about the person I wanted to be rather than the person that I was. I was living a life that lacked empathy and viewed everything through a self-motivated lens.

I cannot say for certain what life looks like going forward as so much is different now and I’m still learning. Music always has and always will be a part of me, and has helped me get through the darkest parts of my journey. However, this apology is not a part of promoting anything. Rumors circulate, and that’s something I’ve learned to accept, but this apology is just that, an apology to everyone around me.

I’ve remained silent to the public since expressing remorse at my sentencing because time seemed like the best way to promote healing. Today marks the first opportunity to freely apologize without any motivation to gain favor from the courts, as I have now completed the entirety of my legal sentence (including the completion of all parole/probation requirements). Let it be clear that no amount of time served can right my wrongs. I do not feel deserving of a second chance and am not asking for anyone’s trust. The way many people feel about me makes sense, and only time will tell if my future actions line up with my remorse, something I pray for every day. In the last five years, the ripple effect of all my actions has extended further than a written statement can address. Thus, I will continue to apologize in both words and actions moving forward.

Thank you for reading,

Tim"

And yes, I have a few thoughts on the matter, thank you for asking.

Firstly, one Robbie Cirvydas mentioned this on our Facebook post about this topic earlier today, saying that, "[I] Wonder if he would’ve written the same thing if she died" and I've been thinking a lot about that ever since reading said comment. Because yes, if Lambesis had actually succeeded in having his wife killed (god forbid) I really do feel we'd be hearing a very different story now than the one at present time. Which is something I'm trying to keep in mind with all of this. Hell, that's even if we ever heard from the man at all given those hypothetical yet still utterly vile circumstances.

Secondly, the actual apology, while indeed feeling somewhat sincere and genuine, doesn't at all remove the attached sin now stuck upon As I Lay Dying's music. As a once massive fan of this band's work, this new statement asking for forgiveness doesn't suddenly make me think "Oh boy, now I can go listen to 'Shadows Are Security' or 'An 'Ocean Between Us' without all of the guilt and shame hovering over the music and myself". If anything, it's a sad and sobering reminder of how one of my favourite modern metal bands was essentially forever tarnished by the blind rage and deep hatred from one of its core band members. Which is still a fucking shame and I really do feel for his family, close friends and former bandmates with his now-controversial name coming up once again in the media headlines – this very article included.

Thirdly, and while his apology does not change the past or erase his actions, I would like to point out that Lambesis did, in fact, go to prison for this; the arguably flawed system of punishment and supposed rehabilitation our modern society implements for people who intend to comment and actually go through with such crimes. Now, that's not me at all forgiving him or excusing his actions - not at fucking all; they deserve to be condemned and they were strongly condemned when this news first broke three years ago. Rather, this is me pointing out that he has completed his legal sentence and is now, for lack of a better word, a free man who has more or less done his time*. (But then again... only getting a six-year sentence and only serving two of said six years with a release on parole for trying to have someone whacked is in of itself, fucking whack. Christ, this stuff makes me angry).

Fourth and finally, so many things have been said about the musician and this topic since his arrest and his insidious intentions and gross actions came to light that I'm really not sure what else I could personally add to the conversation right now. Well, other than this:

Tim. Some people will take this apology, forgive you for your actions and re-acquaint themselves with your music. Whereas others - much like myself - will never forgive you nor listen or look upon your band's past work with the loving admiration that so many of us once did. Yes, you may now be a changed man and you may have gotten the help you needed but here's the kicker: you didn't send out some creepy texts to teenage girls, you didn't say some dumb sexist shit or publish disgustingly racist words online. No, you tried to have another human being, your ex-wife no less, killed by a goddamn hitman! So please, enjoy your Varg "credibility" while it lasts Lambesis, you piece of shit.

Anyway! At least we still have Miss May I: "the As I Lay Dying that you don’t have to feel guilty about enjoying”.


PC: Joey Foley/Getty Images. 

*Also, yes, I did have a rather bitter taste in my mouth when I wrote that part.