“TALK SHIT, GET KISSED”.
When you listen to a downtempo/beatdown band, what do you expect from their lyrical content? I’d safely say that for most people, there’s a very high expectation that the lyrics be graphic and explicit, all in a violent, misanthropic way. You know the kind that I mean. The kind of brutal, “metal-sounding” lyrics that a band throws on the back of a T-shirt for edgy merch points; lyrics that will make your eyes do multiple backflips in their sockets unless you’re a 14-years-old; lyrics that your parents would be highly concerned about if they could actually decipher just what the actual fuck the vocalist was on about.
The same can be said of the lyrical content for Brojob, just not within the genre’s usual topics.
See, instead of talking about religious extremism/hypocrisy, aliens, how much of a shit stain are species is, murdering people, stories about serial killers, or taking the head-up-your-own-asshole approach; Brojob instead opt to talk about promiscuous gay sex, large dicks, giving and/or receiving blowjobs, and doing a wide array of things with, and to, big butts.
Lyrics such as “YOU WERE ALWAYS A BOOTIE CALL/WE WERE JUST PLAYING“,”SHOW ME YOUR DICK/YOU BETTER PULL IT OUT QUICK/DONT MAKE ME SHOW YOU THESE FISTS/DONT BE A FUCKING BITCH“, “I’M ADDICTED TO DICK AND I AIN’T GONNA QUIT IT“, and finally, “I’VE GOT NO TIME TO SPARE/IT’S DICK-O-CLOCK SOMEWHERE” are merely par for the course for this band.
For Brojob is perhaps the most homosexual metal band of all time – that’s not a bad thing, metal’s meant to be inclusive – and I do not say that in a derogatory sense, nor do I say that lightly either. What with over-sexualised lyrics that would make bands like Steel Panther shy away profusely and their name being derived from the recent social phenomena of straight guys performing fellatio on fellow straight guys because they’re “helping a brother out”, Brojob takes slow, brutal metal and give it a penetrating, homoerotic twist.
Possible sexual orientation aside, this band are obviously heavy as fuck. Take, for example, their debut “motto” song, ‘Talk Shit, Get Kissed‘ (found below), which is basically the mid-tempo pacing, breakdowns, overbearing bass and low-tuned guitar chugs that bands like Traitors, Black Tongue and Falsifier employ.
If after listening to the above song and you still somehow couldn’t tell, Brojob is not a band to be taken seriously.
To achieve full piss-taking points, Brojob also recently dipped their dicks into the cover waters with their rendition of Born Of Osiris’s ‘Bow Down‘. Which they have appropriately re-labelled ‘Chow Down‘.
Yet despite altering the name and changing the lyrics to suit that of tucking into some good ol’ fellatio and booty call action, this is actually a pretty faithful cover. From the vocal phrasing to the overall song structure, the length, that sweet guitar lead part early on – it’s a spot-on cover aside from the lyrics. If I was in Born Of Osiris, I’d be pretty stoked on this. I mean, if you’re a metal band and Brojob doesn’t do a rendition of one of your songs, then you haven’t really “made it”, have you?
Either way, stream ‘Chow Down‘ below and you can compare it to the original song here; it’s pretty spot on. Oh, and thank Christ that Born Of Osiris have re-recorded ‘The New Reign‘ EP. That thing has aged fucking horribly!
Whenever a band does something like this – taking an often straight-faced “serious” genre and turning it on its head – it attracts both the casuals and the aficionados of said genre. As such, Brojob have gained a large amount of traction lately, all without a full EP or a full-length album released; it’s all just on the back of a handful of singles. (That being said, a full-length album from Brojob may just be the best worst thing in metal for this decade.)
Their overdone attitude online also attracts attention, for better or for worse. So, of course, with lyrical content such as theirs and by the sheer fact that they’re taking the absolute Mickey, they receive a lot of hate too. Two examples of such criticism, coming from what I can only guess are close-minded people that would never wish to see their famed artform being skewed, can be seen below.
Clearly, Brojob ain’t nothing to fuck with. See Exhibit B below.
Yet for a band that has, as far as I can tell, been active for a couple months now and with such attention on them – both negative and positive – very little is known about them. Where they’re from (their Facebook bio says LA, but I’ve heard elsewhere they’re from Germany), who their members are, how many members the band has, their musical backgrounds, and what they’re sexual orientation is (that part doesn’t really matter, I suppose) all remains a mystery to many. I can’t even find a promo photo of the band either, and I’m not even sure one exists.
However, the pull and reach that novelty acquires (see: Okilly Dokilly) and that of producing something “different” will get you somewhat far these days. After all, Brojob is the only homoerotic metal band I think has ever existed, at least, within this particular style and to this degree. Despite that, they’ve really found their niche and are definitely doing all right for a band that’s seemingly come out of nowhere too. So, credit where credit is due. Especially when the band is donating 100% of profits from their Fuck Hate T-shirt to the American Foundation For Suicide Prevention. Legends
But speaking of metal that’s become a big novelty, you have the UK’s Infant Annihilator. As far as deathcore goes, that particular band are one of the style’s most ridiculous acts right now, both musically and lyrically. You could say the same for Brojob. So in a fitting fashion, Infant Annihilator vocalist Dickie Allen guest featured on Brojob’s recent single, ‘Be My Valentine‘, which was, of course, released on Valentine’s Day this year. Both bands are like two peas in a pod or as it’s put it in the song’s lyrics, they both make up the “penetration administration.” Christ.
Much like Infant’s Annihilator’s music, it’s pretty heavy, hectic stuff that shows off more of their deathcore sound.
Is it great? Not particularly. As just like IA, it just seems heavy and extreme for the pure sake of it, and I doubt anyone would say it has any true substantial meaning. Still, if its pure heaviness you’re after, you can’t go wrong here. Well, you can, but whatever. Also on the guest features, CJ from Thy Art Is Murder is actually going to be lending his voice to the band’s next single. Man… that could go either way!
And with that, I’m done! I’ve had enough of talking about Brojob for today. And quite possibly, for the rest of my short time on this planet. Lately, I was looking for something different and relatively silly to write about it and Brojob slipped into my proverbial shoe perfectly.
Now, do I think Brojob are a good band? Nah. Not really. Their music is ultimately very generic, they’re pretty cringy overall, and the artistic merit of their work is highly debatable. So no, I don’t want a bro job from this band. But… these guys do scratch the itch of providing ludicrously heavy songs, and they do have a certain novelty to them that I cannot shake. How long that will fully last, though, is anybody’s guess…
But if you’re looking for the “sexiest” yet dumbest, filthiest beatdown/downtempo tunes around and ones that are sort of good for a laugh, then, by all means, give Brojob a fair go.
Or don’t. I’m not fussed either way, really.
If you haven’t clicked on any of the links I’ve provided in this article, then go and stream the very first song that I heard by this band – ‘We Are The Boyfriend Stealers‘. It’s… something else. And if you feel so inclined, you can pick up their music here.
Also, goddamnit, I fucking finally got around to do something on Brojob, and Metal Injection and AP and bunch of other site have already done their own pieces on them and now it just looks like a copied those sites when I didn’t. Sigh.