KYS Vs. Twelve Foot Ninja – Fight!

You know, Twelve Foot Ninja are a great band. From the diverse, fusion-metal sound found on both of their damn fine albums to the cringy yet loveable humour displayed in their music videos and they’re individual personalities – these guys are, again, a great fucking band.

Although that last part – their humour – is what I really wanted to hone in on for this interview, as when reading over recent interviews and press with the band from other publications, much of it felt really dry and quite dull at times. I thought to myself, “Man, what a wasted opportunity on this band. Fuck that! I should get weird and snarky with my questions.” And so I did just that.

Thankfully, guitarist Stevic MacKay (pictured far right) also got weird and snarky right back at me for this Q&A, resulting in some quality banter. Check it out below!

Thanks for doing this interview, guys. How are you going today, and to which member(s) of the band are we speaking with?

I am going dressed and with intent. G’day! This is Stevic!

Hey there, Stevic. So, of course, Twelve Foot Ninja toured with Disturbed last December. As such, what is the one Disturbed song that you wished that band would stop playing live? I would pick anything from ‘10,000 Fists’ or their first album. 

I don’t know enough about this to comment. Before we played with Disturbed, I personally hadn’t heard their music apart from that Kookaburra song. They seem like a good bunch of blokes though and you have to respect their success. Bloody good on ’em!

When can we expect the ARIA Cluster Fuck Tour, featuring yourselves, The Amity Affliction, and King Gizzard and the Wizard Lizard, to be announced? 

Probably would be a good tour! I just announced it to my dog and she went outside and took a shit.

Huge. Now, did you honestly think that you could rip-off a bunch of Meshuggah riffs and get away with it? 

Can you honestly point out which Meshuggah riffs we’ve ripped off?

Where would I even begin? Anyway, so why are you guys appropriating Ninja culture? 

Why are you appropriating a clever interviewer?

Because I am just that good, mate. Which four of you would make up the four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and who would be Shredder? (Sorry, I’ve already taken Master Splinter). 

Russ is Michelangelo. Kin is Raphael. Damon is a more fashion focussed Donatello. Ro is Leonardo. I’d probably be Shredder. Or Batman. Batman Shredder.

Batman Shredder? Oh man, I’d watch that shit! Do you think that if the band comes to an end tomorrow, any of you could go onto to being comedians or D-grade actors for those original SyFy movies?

Yeah, nah. Dunno? Maybe? Do we get paid? Can I have a sword?

I don’t make the fucking rules! Tell me, why didn’t Twelve Foot Ninja play at Trump’s Inauguration?

I had Adventure Time re-runs to catch up on.

With the whole Ninja theme of the band, have any of you ever played the Ninja Gaiden games? If so, did you manage to finish one of those tough-as-nails fuckers!? 

Fucking oath! Ninja Gaiden Black is sick! I think it went a bit shit and weird after that.

Yeah, Ninja Gaiden II was the last good one. As per the ‘Sick’ music video, if a member of the band had to be killed off, which member would it be and how would they meet their grisly end?

Probably Damon. We’d make him wear unfashionable clothes and he’d melt in the gaze of fuckheads.

A truly horrible way to go. Again with that recent music video, what is your favourite kind of biscuit?

I can’t speak on behalf of the guys on such a subjective matter, but Monte Carlo is a classic. Not too fucking complicated and fun to sneeze and eat at the same time.

Good pick! Now, I actually scored Outlier 85/100 on last year. Tell me why I didn’t give it a higher rating? 

A few reasons:

1.) The additional 15 percent was part of your edging routine.

2.) You thought it was out of 85

3.) You were squirrelling this question away to see whether I’d track you down, mince you up and feed you to Periphery.

You got me there. Now, I’m really curious, which is your collectively favourite Evil Dead movie and why?

Evil Dead 2 is the best. I don’t know what those other dickheads think.

Right answer! And finally, when will Ferret And The Sickos make their live debut?

Fuck those deros! You should ask them!

Twelve Foot Ninja are touring later this month and well into March for the ‘Sick’ tour. Check out the full dates and tickets right here. ‘Outlier’ is out now. Get around this band, they’re awesome!

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