Vladimir Putin To Embark On Post-G20 'OG KGB' DJ Tour

Russian president Vladimir Putin has revealed that he will be setting out on a nine-date jaunt around the country following his commitments for the impending G20 summit in Brisbane, bringing his VP: OG KGB DJ Tour to Australian audiences for the first time.

 

Promising a throwback to the days when disc-slingers would settle their differences in boxing rings, as well as the days when Putin was a living weapon for the KGB, a representative for the President said that the comprehensive national tour, which will be held at some of the country's most identifiable fighting venues, was a direct response to Prime Minister Tony Abbott's recent chest-beating 'shirtfront' quip. In fact, the representative said, President Putin had openly offered the PM an opening spot on the tour. 

 

"Glorious Putin will crossfade with one hand while smacking down capitalist arrogance with the other," the spokesman said, acknowledging that Putin had been watching Rocky IV and Step Up 2: The Streets religiously in preparation for the dual display of rhythm and pent-up rage.

 

"His Vladness has openly challenged Mr Abbott to a battle of beats and beatings, a refusal of which will result in a certification that Australia is a nation of spongy weaklings, a suspicion long held by most of the European population," the spokesman said.

 

A representative for Mr Abbott would not provide comment on whether he would accept the so-called "support slot" on Putin's tour; however, the appearance of an Australian Twitter page under the name 'DJ SemiTonez' has led many to speculate he's already making preparations to go toe-to-toe with the Russian president in a couple of months' time.