(S)hitman Heath

Some people have bucket lists; lists of places they would like to go and things they want to do before they die. Not Chopper comedian Heath Franklin, whose latest show is called The (s)Hitlist. As he explains, “Apart from being an exploration of the wonderful world of lists through the eyes of a career criminal, it's also just a targeted list of things that Chopper despises.” So, less of a bucket list, more of a 'fuck-it' list, then.

Franklin has finely honed the art of the rant for the new show, and he's taking on some unexpected targets. Top of the (s)hitlist at the moment are coffee tables. “They're hopeless! They're horrible! They're too short to be any use for anything apart from coffee, and even then they're a pain,” Franklin explains with great intensity. “You sit down on a nice, deep, comfortable coffee, and they're too deep to reach so you have to lean all the way forward to pick up your coffee, and then you lean back and spill it in your lap. They just take up floorspace and hit your shins.”

Other entries on Chopper's shitlist include restaurant food served cold, getting stabbed by a friend, and the word 'chillax'. Sometimes Chopper puts something on the list that Franklin actually quite likes, but he says, “We try not to bring those things up because they're the cause of tension. We both have a shared love for quite vocally complaining. So that's the Venn diagram of common issues there really.”

Fresh from a series of shows at the Edinburgh festival, Franklin has a host of award nominations and TV appearances to his name, but Chopper remains his most enduring role. After more than seven years sticking on the moustache and heading out onto the comedy stage as Chopper, Franklin admits he wouldn't mind performing as himself sometimes. “I'd like to be one of those real comedians that just tells jokes in what they're wearing instead of carrying around a costume … [but the advantage of playing a character] is a little bit like the Colbert thing, where you can either be someone who hates right-wing conservatives quite vocally, or you can pretend to be a right-wing conservative and bring everyone's attention to the issue a bit ironically. So it allows that and it means that you can say things that you don't have to justify to people really… [It means I can] take on issues from the perspective of a man who is thirty years older and has spent most of his life in prison.”

Franklin seems just a tad disappointed by the comparative lack of murder and mayhem in his own life. “There are a lot of other comedians who get material out of mistakes that they have made here, an international adventure that went wrong there, a horrible relationship. But I've kind of managed to avoid all of that stuff. So maybe that's why I need to do character comedy. Unlike someone who has been to prison and has killed people. Because my own life has been really nice, and really good, but totally uninteresting. I've plateaued at pleasant.” With that the interview ends and he heads off to glue on his moustache for the next show.