Life's A Beach! Part 3 - Fergus Linacre of Kingswood

10 January 2014 | 3:43 pm | Life's A Beach

Things get sweaty and stinky on the Kingswood/Calling All Cars tour. Oh and the nudity continues...

Cheeeeeeeese!

Hello again. I do believe we are over halfway through this wonderful tour and the bands and crews are getting along swimmingly. Soundcheck each day is usually accompanied with a game of cricket. James (Calling All Cars drummer) is mean and bowls too fast, but he can do handstand pushups, which is pretty cool. Miranda's pre-show activities included chipping golf balls over the green room couch into a cup, but the game ended when Al sliced one into the bar, broke some glasses and ruined everyone's fun. 

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Bedroom banter.

Mona Vale, Bikram Rock. By far the hottest stage we have ever played. Everyone in the room was drenched, not in a romantic walk through the rain on the streets of Paris way, but in a warm, stinky, your's and mostly other people's sweat kinda way. Which to me, is still romantic. 

The Ashes of Soundcheck cricket.

Entrance, The Leagues Club. We walked through the pokie machines and big screen TV's showing the world snooker championships, to our table where we all sit together to eat. Kentucky fried lamb cutlets. The crowd however were lovely and the show was a total blast. Calling All Cars were particularly spectacular and when we went on everyone shouted, "no go away, we want Calling All Cars to come back on, go away Kingswood, you suck". Half way through a musical fun time jam in a song called So Long, Justin's foldback went bananas. It was like the big dark sound from Inception blasting across the stage, by far the loudest thing we have ever heard. The song died for a while but hey, life goes on and we got the 2000 brown m&ms, and Ozzy did a great show.

No words needed.

Newcastle is always awesome. And it was again even for a Sunday night. More sound check cricket, an unsolved mystery concerning a man and his daughter or girlfriend (we never found out), and lots of delicious vodka pineapples.

The next day we went to the beach and played golf and saw American Hustle, which we all agreed was pretty boring and shit excluding the wonderful Jennifer Lawrence, who is just a mad babe actor. 

Yamba. Where I nearly lost my Tamba...rine. Haha, wow, what a hilarious joke. After a day off playing golf, we drove 6 hours north and arrived at the bowls club/pokies/bistro. Why are we playing here we asked, the pokies are the devil, but we soon learnt that Yamba is a small town and the bowls club has the only stage, so the show must go on. We did find a delicious Thai restaurant and we put the whole kitchen on the door and they came and I do believe they had a good time, though they complained we went on too late. The night ended with Alex playing slide guitar and Hayden from Calling all Cars on drums basically just making a lot of noise.

Quite the catch...

Coffs Harbour is a pretty cool town, we had lunch at the surf club and Justin, Mango, Morts and myself went for a fish. J caught two very small bream. One he threw back, the other he dropped between the rocks and was unable to find and save the little guy despite being able to hear him flapping around in despair. Justin has now decided to become a vegetarian - and a very outspoken one at that - reminding me of the age of my slaughtered veal.

Forster seems like a quiet little town, so when we rolled up to what was basically a casino we again felt a little strange. We walked through one section of the complex in which there was a kids party on, perhaps a holiday program, titled Kidz Pokies, in which kids would gamble credits and win lollies. THIS MUST BE ILLEGAL! Someone please call the cops, the venue was Club Forster. The show however was excellent fun and the Forster crowd was wonderful. We loved them so much we got them all up on stage. Thank you Forster fairies, next time we will play at your house party.